CHEMISTRY CHOCOLATE-PREPARTIONS FOR X-MAS or......JUST BUY SOME

 

Cooking Chocolate for Chemists:

mix a small pinch of water-soluble polyvalent metal salt with an aqueous solution of a water-soluble salt of alginic acid to thereby form a water-insoluble film of alginic acid salt to cleanse the outer surface of approximately 300 cocoa beans that have been freed of their tough, leathery rinds, then dry them in the sun, on sheets of llama leather......of course, you are already familiar with this technique from your studies of larousse and brillat-savarin, so i shall skip to the final stages in which melted cocoa to which a half kilo of saturated bovine utter excretion, just short of boiling, has been mixed and stirred, gently, until a glossy, mirror-like surface has evolved. The process provides a thick, edible brown pearly mass to which an additional amount of an oleaginous substance as the core substance may be added; however, exercise judgment to restrict this amount to less than .7(cocoa weight). This mass can be provided by the method which comprises contacting liquid drops of a composition comprising an aqueous solution of a water-soluble macromolecular substance at least a portion of which is marmelo mucilage , an oleaginous substance, e.g. animal or vegetable oil, if the bovine excretion is not available, or if the product is being produced for distribution by the evil empire to it's undiscriminating subjects. Well, you can see how appetizing this technique is............but the results......soooo good.... the Lama's Retort: more xmasish: Gently roast the finest cocoa beans, hand picked in Madagascar or Sri Lanka, to remove excess moisture, then...if necessary....roast a bit more until the flavor and aroma peaks... Then nib and ground the beans, add extra cocoa butter and the finest Bourbon vanilla and organic sugars, allow this couverture to conch for a few days to refine the texture and remove traces of astringency......adding thick Normandy cream with beurre de Charentes as a foil to the rich, fatty filberts from Piedmont and almonds from Provence and perhaps some pistachios from Sicily....and perhaps a few fruit confits and citris fruit peels! Or just call Jean Jacques Bernachon and order from his chocolate shop, in Lyon, and have some delivered to your palette........I know.....I know.....I haven't disregarded Fauchon's concoctions of Valrhona or Jean-Paul Hevin's chocolate easter eggs or Le Roux's bitter chocolate sylvies that melt in one's breath on a warm spring afternoon picnic.....or, just 'go for broke' for a box of Swarovski-studded, silk-wrapped chocolates ... for Valentine's or Easter....just a few months away!